


it doesn't have to be complicated

by writingwannabe



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: A levels, AU, College, Coming Out, DAN AND PHIL - Freeform, Dan Howell and Phil Lester - Freeform, Dan Howell and Phil Lester Are Teenagers, Growing Up Together, Living in the Closet, M/M, coming to terms with sexuality, discovering sexuality, underage drinking and smoking (general british teen stuff)
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-08-20
Updated: 2019-08-20
Packaged: 2020-09-19 07:49:19
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,679
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20327632
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writingwannabe/pseuds/writingwannabe
Summary: Dan and Phil are normal British teenagers, and all they really want is to fit in and get through their final two years of school without any hassle. That would probably be easier if they didn't develop sexuality-crisis-causing crushes on each other, but maybe it doesn't have to be complicated?A coming of age story where Dan and Phil help each other learn who they are.





	it doesn't have to be complicated

The room was spinning a little, but the music was reverberating through Phil’s very soul. This was what being a teenager was all about - he could forget the hug from his mum as he left the house, the comment about being sensible, about how he looked good in his new jacket. He was really living now, and it was easy to forget what he’d left behind, because the drinks sloshing around his system dissolved every concern. 

He felt a little sick - he wasn't all that used to drinking this much, despite what he’d let his new college mates believe, desperately wanting to seem cool for once, not that they were still around to impress. Fresh air seemed like a good idea, so he stumbled outside into the little garden. It was dark, but twinkly fairy lights were strung around the fence; he’d think it were pretty if he were sober enough to notice. 

There was a shed shoved in one of the corners, barely standing, but the hub for the small group huddled around it, exuding clouds of smoke. It smelled nice, but Phil wasn't  _ that _ drunk, or maybe just didn't want his mum to smell the earthy sweetness which would undoubtedly cling to his clothes, so looked around for somewhere quiet. His mates were inside somewhere, at least two of them attached to girls he didn't know. He didn't really know anyone here, but talking was easier when his mind was jumbled like this. It was a strange feeling, like his brain was on some kind of rollercoaster while his body lurched across the patchy grass towards the side of the house, neither quite working in unison. 

He sank to the ground, a drink clutched in his hand. Thinking about it, he wasn't really sure of the contents, but he didn't mind, because it was sweet enough to disguise the alcohol, and definitely stronger than his rational side would allow. There was a small exhale beside him, and Phil startled to see another boy - man? He was never quite sure where the line between boy and man was, because he wouldn't consider himself a boy anymore, but he wasn't a man either. Guy was the word he finally settled on, so turned to the  _ guy _ beside him and nodded, the jerk of the gesture flipping over his unstable stomach. 

“Alright?” The guy muttered, taking a swig from his bottle after he spoke. Phil nodded, a small part of himself which wasn't fully overcome by the alcohol feeling slightly embarrassed for not noticing the presence of another person before sitting. The guy fished around in his pockets before bringing out a badly rolled cigarette, or rather, badly rolled joint, Phil recognised as it was brought to the stranger’s lips and lit with a bashed up red plastic lighter. The guy breathed in, more of a sigh than an inhale, then released a cloud of his own. It vaguely crossed Phil’s mind that his mum might smell it on him, but that thought didn't really register. 

A tiny orange ember along with the fairy lights lit up the two boys, because they were still boys,  _ really _ , features vaguely visible, but mostly cast in shadow. Phil found himself watching with a strange interest as the stranger breathed the smoke in and out, almost as naturally as if it were oxygen. There was a weird beauty in it, and Phil found himself confused. Normally the horrible health implications of smoking ruined it for him, but this boy here made it entrancing. Maybe it was the alcohol, doing strange things to his head.

The guy plucked it from his mouth, holding it out towards Phil as a gesture of goodwill. His offer was met with a small shake of the head and a rough, 

“Thanks though.” This made the stranger smile, and he returned the stick to his own lips, which were chapped enough for it to be visible to Phil, even drunk, in the dark. 

“Wise,” The other boy muttered, gaze fixed on the cracked concrete slabs beneath them.

“Huh?” Phil wasn't one for subtlety, unless it mattered, and drunk Phil hadn't had much experience at all in the art of volume control; his voice was loud. 

“This,” the boy indicated the roll-up. “It’s bad for you.” 

“Oh,” Phil nodded, “yeah. GCSE biology aha.” The other boy’s smile flicked up.

“Don't think weed is on the syllabus.” 

“Maybe not,” Phil admitted, “and, to be fair, it’s probably not as bad for you as uh, like nicotine cigarettes?” 

“Reckon that's not something they want to teach,” the stranger - acquaintance? - paused, “Plus, weed’s more expensive. Stupid really.” He coughed, smirking at the irony of it. “Both pretty fucking addictive though.” His smile dropped, and he breathed in more smoke. “Waste of money.” 

“You're not wearing a jacket,” Phil observed, his Lester genes kicking in. 

“Neither are you, mate.” 

“Oh,” Phil nodded, “yeah. It was hot inside.” His acquaintance laughed, taking a swig from his drink. “It’s cold out here though. Are you cold?” 

“I’m Dan.” The acquaintance - Dan - smirked as he exhaled some more smoke. 

“Hi Dan,” Phil smiled, “I’m Phil.” 

“Hi, Phil.” 

They sat in silence for a little while, but it wasn't uncomfortable, which was maybe because they were both drunk. If Phil had been more clear minded, maybe he would have noticed how sad Dan looked. But then again, if either of them were less drunk, Dan would have probably disguised it better. 

Eventually, Dan put out his cigarette and stood up. Phil frowned, a little dejected that someone else was going off without him. He leant his head back against the wall, the bricks cold through his hair, biting into his scalp. 

“Coming?” Dan asked, looking down at Phil’s crumpled body. His smile may have formed a little too quickly, a little to widely, but neither of them really noticed. Dan offered his hand to help Phil up, and he took it, a little surprised by the other boy’s warm palms, which were nice to hold, because Phil’s own were like ice cubes from sitting outside for so long. His mum would have made him get his coat before even stepping out of the door, but she wasn't here, so he shook that thought from his head and reluctantly dropped Dan’s hand, following him back into the house. 

Phil’s experience with nightclubs, which was, granted, fairly limited, was that they were  _ disgusting _ , and somehow, this house had become just as sweaty and generally damp as any of the grotty clubs which let underage teenagers in. Dan shoved a drink into Phil’s hand, keeping a matching one for himself. Phil sniffed it cautiously, not sure he could stomach any more alcohol. Dan smiled, watching the debacle. 

“Water,” the smile morphed into a smirk as he watched Phil take an apprehensive sip, just to discover that it really was water. 

“Thanks.” 

It was reasonably dark inside too, the sort of darkness which deliberately allowed for people to ‘get off’ with each other without entirely knowing who they were, but it was brighter than outside, and colourful lights spun around the room, allowing Phil to get more of an idea of what his new acquaintance looked like. His face was hard to make out, but there was the curve of a smile and distinctive wavy hair. He was dressed in black from head to toe, or at least in dark clothes - it was hard to tell, what with the lighting. From what Phil could see, Dan was the sort of guy who could easily find a girl, and a stab of nerves made him wonder if he was getting in the way of exactly that. 

“I just moved here,” He blurted instead, not wanting to be on his own again; he wasn't sure he’d be able to find his friends again. 

“Yeah?” Dan leaned closer to hear over the heavy music. “I’ve lived here my whole life.” 

“You must know everyone.” Dan shrugged, pulling them out of the packed kitchen, through the equally packed living room and into the somewhat quieter hallway, sitting them down on the stained carpet.

“That’s not necessarily a good thing.” He smirked, “Not a lot happens around here, so people can be nosey.” 

“I came from a tiny town,” Phil explained, “there was literally a wood and some sheep. This is huge in comparison.” He looked down at his hands, “Are you at college?” Dan nodded, raising an eyebrow to ask Phil the same, receiving an identical nod. “There’s so many people. It’s kind of overwhelming.” 

“Yeah?” Dan’s voice sounded like a question, but Phil didn't think he wanted an answer. “I was at an all boys school before - college is way different.”

“I don't think I’d like an all boys school,” Phil admitted softly. 

“No girls?” Dan smirked some more, eyes tracing the outlines of stains on the floor. His voice dropped. “It was shit.”

“Shit…” Phil paused, “Because there were no girls?” Dan frowned.

“It was shit for lots of reasons.” His frown deepened. “We did some stuff with the girls school though. Sometimes.” 

“Girls are good,” Phil’s eloquence seemed to have disappeared thanks to the alcohol. He thought about his friends back at home - not back at home; here was home now. He thought he missed them, but he hadn't really made much effort to stay in touch, and neither had they, so maybe they weren’t as close as he’d believed. 

“You got a girlfriend back where you used to live?” Dan pulled at a loose thread in the carpet. 

“Rossendale,” Phil supplied, “near Manchester.” He paused. “And no. Just some friends who happen to be girls.” 

“Sure, mate.” Dan raised his eyebrows suggestively, and Phil’s stomach flipped uncomfortably in a way which wasn't caused by drinking. 

“What about you?” 

“Hmm?” Dan was apparently distracted by the carpet. 

“Do you have a girlfriend?” Dan laughed bitterly.

“No.” He bit his lip and finally looked up at Phil. “I got dumped.” 

“Sorry,” 

“Not your fault.” He was still biting his lips. “I had it coming; I’m not - I wasn't - a good boyfriend.” 

They sat in silence some more, watching as people began to leave. Phil’s phone lit up with a text - his mum. She was asking how he was, making sure he had a house key. He sent back a reply, reassuring her he was having a good time and that the key was in his pocket. 

“Are you off then?” Dan asked, and Phil looked up from his screen, a little surprised by how close the other boy was. 

“Probably ought to be, yeah. You?” Dan shrugged, expression darkening. He took a moment before responding

“I forgot my keys.” Phil frowned. 

“Are you staying here then?” There was a pause, and then Dan shook his head. 

“Nah, I’ll sort something out.” 

“You can stay at mine?” Phil blurted, the Lester in him coming out once again. His mum had raised him to be polite and helpful, and those qualities were apparently so deep rooted that even excessive amounts of alcohol didn't shift them. Plus, he could do with a proper friend around here. Dan’s expression screamed of surprise. “You don't have to!” Phil was quick to add, “Just… the offer is there, if you want, or need it. Okay?” 

“Okay,” Dan nodded, his face soft, and surprised in a way Phil didn't like. “If you're sure that’s okay, that would be bloody brilliant.” 

“Of course,” Phil spoke quietly. He dug through the pile of coats on the floor to find his own, pleased to see Dan pulling on a washed out black denim jacket. 

He only lived a ten minute walk away, and the pair quickly fell into step together. They talked the whole way, but Phil wasn't really sure what about; it had gotten to that point in the night where everything was coated in slight delirium. When they finally arrived, Dan gazed up at the house, expression unreadable. 

“Everything okay, Dan?” 

“Yeah,” He nodded, “I literally live two streets away. Random.” Phil smiled,

“Random.” His voice was warm, and he quietly unlocked the door, gently ushering Dan inside. 

A figure emerged from the kitchen, hands wrapped around a steaming mug. 

“Mum,” Phil’s voice was soft, and decidedly less slurred than it had been while talking to Dan. He straightened his posture. “You didn't have to stay up.” 

“Of course I did, child.” Dan stepped backwards, melting into the wall. 

“Dan’s staying over, if that's okay?” Phil glanced back at his new friend, knowing his mum would be positively  _ elated _ to have some evidence that he really was settling in in this new place after his first week of college. “He forgot his keys.” 

“Of course that’s okay,” She smiled warmly towards Dan. “Nice to meet you, dear. I’m Kath.” Dan offered a small smile in return, 

“Thank you,” his voice was small. “I appreciate it.” 

“Right,” Kath smiled at the two boys, “as much as I’d love to hear all about the party, it’s far too late for an old lady like me, and I’m sure you two have homework you need to get done tomorrow. Off to bed!” 

Dan and Phil scuttled off upstairs after Kath pulled Phil in for a quick hug. Phil opened the door to his room and Dan stepped inside, awed. 

Every surface was entirely covered by posters, notes, photos, drawings, sheets of writing, tickets and so much more. A small

“Wow,” escaped Dan’s throat, and Phil blushed. 

“Sorry. It’s pretty uh, full on.” 

“No!” Dan was quick to interject. “I love it.” A genuine smile spread across his lips. “It’s so… It’s like a little portal into your brain.” Dan was stumbling over his words, and he probably would have hidden his amazement if he were in a more clear state of mind. Phil found it endearing, grinning to himself as he rummaged through a drawer for some soft pajamas Dan could sleep in. He tossed them to him, frowning at the look of confusion which spread across his face.

“C’mon, skinny jeans are hardly comfy to sleep in. I’m gonna go change in the bathroom. I’ve not got a spare toothbrush, sorry, but you can use some toothpaste, if you want.” 

“You’re a gem, Phil,” Dan whispered once he was alone in the boy’s bedroom, staring up at the ceiling, which was also plastered with an overwhelmingly brilliant amount of stuff. He wondered when Phil’s family had moved here - it looked like he’d been collating all this stuff for  _ years _ . 

He managed to restrain himself from snooping and stripped out of his party clothes and pulled on his borrowed ones. They smelled fresh, like flowery laundry detergent and a mum willing to pour love into doing her teenage son’s washing. There was a knock on the door and a tentative 

“Can I come in?” from Phil, which was nothing short of hilarious to Dan, who couldn't help but be overwhelmed by the sheer kindness of this boy, who had been nothing more than a stranger when the night had begun. He peered around the door, somehow balancing pillows, a blanket and two glasses of water, frowning to see Dan stood awkwardly in the middle of the room. “I’m shattered,” his voice was soft, and he passed the bedding and a glass to Dan. “Let’s get some sleep.” 

Dan crouched on the ground, laying out the pillows, heart softened by Phil’s thoughtfulness; most of his mates didn't even bother to give him a blanket, let alone proper pillows, when he crashed for a night. 

“What are you doing? You're not sleeping on the floor.” Dan looked up to see Phil was deliberately on one side of his bed. “We can top and tail. C’mon, my mum would rather kill me than let a guest sleep on the floor.” 

Dan felt like crying as he clambered into Phil’s bed, snuggling down into a comfy nest of blankets. 

It was nice to have someone look after him, and he drifted off to sleep with a smile on his face. 

**Author's Note:**

> new fic! whoop! let me know your thoughts? :)


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